“Society Still Glorifies Marriage as a Measure of Fulfilment, No Matter a Woman’s Career Success” – Toke Makinwa’s Advice to Single Ladies

Nigerian media personality Toke Makinwa has sent a powerful message to women who are yet to marry or have children, reflecting on her personal journey to motherhood.

In late August, Toke welcomed her first child, a baby girl named Yakira Eliana, at 40, describing the experience as the happiest of her life. She said her daughter has shown her a love she never knew existed.

On Instagram, Toke shared screenshots of the negative messages she received from trolls and reflected on how societal expectations can overshadow personal achievements. She emphasized that no matter how successful a woman becomes professionally, society often focuses on what hasn’t happened yet—like marriage or childbirth.

“I’m not one to even acknowledge negativity. I’ve built a strong brand off the stones that have constantly been thrown at me over the years, and one thing about God, he loves the people you judge so much. I am only sharing this for anyone out there dealing with contention, delay, shame, and all the cràzy limitations life can sometimes throw your way,” she said.

Toke highlighted how marriage and children are often unfairly treated as measures of fulfillment:

“Funny how no matter how much you rise career-wise as a woman, society still glorifies the things that haven’t happened for you yet. Marriage has become some sort of a yardstick to fulfilment, and if you don’t have a child yet, hmmmmmmm! Very loaded sigh.”

Expressing gratitude for waiting on God’s timing, she added:

“Thank you, Jesus, this one ended in praise. You were not late; you only wanted my heart posture to be right, and I’m thankful for the community of women you’ve given me in this season. I know there are ladies who feel they are running out of time; society wants you to believe that you have expired, you might even start to believe it, but you are wrong. I am thankful I did not settle, I’m thankful I got to be a mum when I am ready, I’m thankful I rejected all these labels, and I am grateful it happened not when I wanted it but when God’s timing was right. It is perfect!”

Toke also reflected on how she protected herself during her pregnancy from negativity:

“Do not underestimate the power of negativity. I ran away the whole pregnancy, I became so fearful, and I shut everyone out. Then this word came: ‘Perfect love drowns out fear.’ God is love, he gives good gifts, and it is perfect. I prayed it till my heart believed it. The words hurt, but my spirit was not broken. They only reminded God about me, not that he forgot, but they challenged him to shatter the ceiling with this testimony.”

Finally, she offered guidance to women waiting for their own milestones:

“So here’s my advice to you: Hold on, drown out the noise, focus on the Vine, let him do the heavy lifting, celebrate yourself at every stage, you are becoming, and everything good will come. There will be days when it’ll get tough, but the victory is worth it. Congratulations in advance to anyone waiting, it doesn’t have to be a child, whatever you’re waiting on, it’s here.”

Toke’s words serve as an inspiring reminder that patience, faith, and self-celebration are key to navigating societal pressures and personal expectations.